The Childhood Dream vs Reality
When I was younger, I jumped between a few career options.
“I want to be a doctor, I like this stethoscope my parent’s doctor friend has given me to play with”, “I want to be a farmer like dad”, “No, farming is too much work and not enough money, lets become a vet”, “hmm maybe a biologist”, before I settled back on “Actually, I knew what I wanted from the start… I’ll become a doctor”
That decision to transition back to medicine was led by a few factors:
- I realised to become a vet I needed to start getting vet specific work experience from the age of 16 (I was 17 at the point I came back to medicine)
- You know what, once I’ve done the medical degree, I have a job lined up – I don’t have to think any further. Doing something like biology might seem like a good idea but what job do you then go into? (My young mind not understanding the scope of the jobs available with a biology degree – but that also seemed very overwhelming having to decide what to do next after university)
- Pay seemed alright as a doctor
- I’ve always been an empathetic person, I’ve liked making sure people are ok
- I want to do something “science-y” that won’t just be sitting in a lab
- I want to make my family proud
- I think I’m smart enough – my teachers seem to think so anyways.
How does the reality live up to the thought process of Emily at the age of 17-year-old, and younger?
The naivety was definitely there – that being a doctor was all sunshine and daisies.
Actually, had to undertake quite a lot of work experience to become a medical student as well, it’s not just Veterinary that takes some effort before university.
Job prospects – yes it was very straight forward to get a foundation job, and it doesn’t rely on much of a thought process on what speciality I want to do yet. But I’m already looking forward to the end of FY2, thinking what the hell happens next. Am I going to get enough points to get even an interview for IMT? Will I be able to find a job commutable from Sheffield (I don’t want to have to uproot my partner and life here)? Actually, what do I want to specialise in? I think palliative medicine, but who knows!
Pay, actually better than I anticipated, but maybe that’s just because I’m currently very fortunate to be living in a flat owned by my partner’s mum (and she has let us live here rent free to get on our feet). But I know the prospects going forward can be a bit dire.
I’m glad I have empathy for this job. But sometimes I feel like the work pressures make it hard for me to properly investigate and care for my patients, that it makes me feel a little down.
I’m not sitting in a lab, but I am sitting at a computer in a cramped office, on an unsupportive chair most of the day.
My family are definitely proud of me. And I am of myself as well – I’m thinking where I’ve come from – a shy, anxious 19-year-old starting medical school, to a (still anxious, but less so) confident FY1, who now can make and take phone calls. The phone calls thing may sound silly, but even calling my family and friends before medical school was something I avoided like the plague. Now I’ll easily call our gas and electricity company at home or call microbiology (even if I don’t have all the answers and get shouted at a little). That is progress.
Sometimes it doesn’t feel like it, but I am smart enough – I got to where I am now, I can keep going. But always in the back of my mind is “Don’t burn out, keep going steady. If you don’t achieve everything in one smooth go, it’s ok”.
I may look at the prospects still to come and hurdles to jump over and get a little stressed out. But young Emily made the right decision for her at the time and here we are, thriving (sometimes), crying (sometimes) but proving that she can do it and it was worth it (always). It may not be exactly as she imagined, but that’s the case with anything in life – you don’t know until you try and experience and then you learn from those experiences and keep going.
I’m proud of myself and everyone else should be proud of themselves too. Here’s to writing Dr in front of your name, something little you only dreamed of!
Dr Emily Sidaway
F1, Yorkshire and Humber Foundation School
March 2026
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The views expressed in this article are those of the author’s, and do not necessarily reflect the official stance of the UKFPO.