What the *****

Medical school is like cycling with stabilisers.  

On-call shifts are like taking off those stabilisers and being expected to ride a Harley Davidson that’s missing a wheel and needs a jump start to get the engine going.  

What I have learned though is once you’re on that bike and going it’s not as scary as it might seem. They are unpredictable shifts, some busy where bleeps are almost overlapping while others I have watched entire films without being interrupted. It’s not only that which varies but a bleep can vary from anything from a life-threatening condition to the simplest cannula. So I’m not denying they are intimidating shifts for many reasons, they are the ones that rely on you rattling through you’re A-E assessments and mostly they turn out alright.  

I am very aware though that when you carry a bleep you’re at it’s mercy, so the thing I ‘ve found is whenever I am on shift with someone carrying a bleep I always offer to take it from them while they go for a break. I have found that when people offer that for me I feel a kind of relief that you can’t get any other way. Just knowing that you aren’t going to be interrupted while you’re eating your midnight snack is the ultimate peace of mind.  

So if I were to offer my pieces of advice, while carrying a bleep be kind to yourself and when you’re not be kind to others and offer to take that tiny ***** nightmare.  

What the *****  

The bleep burns a hole in my scrub pocket.  

It’s like a loaded gun, before my shift has even begun  

I could hear it blaring in my dreams  

The flashing light, the ancient screen  

That’s listing numbers for me to call…  

‘Can you prescribe paracetamol?’ 

That’s my first bleep and although the noise made my heart leap  

I think ‘psh this I can handle’  

Then late into the night  

‘Run quick Doc, this patient’s really sick.’  

My pulse quickens with the fright, I stare out into the cold, empty night 

I run downstairs, fearing the worst  

Relieved to find the Med Reg there.  

I take orders, take bloods, run a gas  

And by the time that I am back 

The patient’s stable and I am free to grab a nap beneath a tree  

(A mural of a tree painted on the wall, to make it seem more appealing to sleep in a hospital, it doesn’t work… At all.) 

The next bleep though I have no idea  

There is no senior there 

Nurses stare  

But I’ve never seen a case like this  

And I don’t know any tricks  

And what is worse… this patient’s sick 

I panic for a moment but… 

Remembering the basics  

My sleep deprived brain goes A-E  

I figure it out and start the treatment  

Then call the Med Reg feeling calm  

And handover using an SBAR  

As the sliding doors of the hospital open  

Sunlight cuts into my eyes, as I think with mild surprise  

‘I’ve made it through! I survived the night  

I fought the bleep and won the fight.’ 

Eve Ducker, F2

Peninsula Foundation School